Five Minutes to Kill (Yourself) is a witty Flash game in which you have just received a straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back meeting request, and to avoid going to the meeting, you must kill yourself in the five minutes that remain until it starts.

There’s lots of creative ways to get hurt. If you wear the piñata, candy-starved co-workers will beat you. Put the trophy in the microwave, and get nuked. And of course the usual office dangers await you: paper cutters, staplers, shredders, and weasels.