Today is Nat’s 37th birthday. We went to his group home yesterday to celebrate. One of Nat’s favorite things to do when he’s with us is to bake with Susan. So we had a baking party at his house to get everyone into the activity:

At our house, the baking is from scratch, but Susan knew that would be too much stuff to bring and too involved a process. An added complication is that one housemate (MM) is diabetic but really wants to be part of things. So Susan brought two box mixes: regular and sugar-free. Of course the fun is decorating, so she also brought icing: chocolate and vanilla, both regular and sugar-free. And candy for the top, including sugar-free sprinkles.

On weekends the guys are often visiting their families, but we wanted as many of them there as possible. We put a sign on the fridge ahead of time, and contacted some of the families to let them know it was happening. We were delighted to have all of the housemates there.

We gave everyone aprons and paper chef’s hats to get them in the spirit. Dressing up as bakers was fun all by itself. Everyone helped with the ingredients and mixing, and only one egg ended up on the floor. The mood was great: the guys were fascinated by the process (“what is batter?”), and excited to be making cupcakes. We were all in a joking mood, including the staff.

One of Susan’s concerns was whether Nat would accept the changes: they don’t usually bake at his group home, never use a box mix, he gets to lick the bowl clean, and so on. But as set as he is in his ways, he is also used to “same” things being done differently in different contexts. He went along with this whole new way of baking.

With all the ingredients out on the table, we had to keep an eagle eye on MM who wanted the sugar candy even though he shouldn’t eat it. In the end, he had more than he should have, but less than he wanted.

Susan had brought food coloring and piping bags, but at the halfway point, while the tins were in the oven, we made a game-time decision to simplify: plain icing and butter knives for spreading would be fine.

When it came time to decorate, the guys created monstrosities with gummy worms and M&Ms. Biggest surprise: no one wanted chocolate icing — it was vanilla all around.

Looking back, we realized it didn’t even occur to us to bring candles or to sing Happy Birthday! We brought Nat some presents to open, and the house was headed out later to a birthday dinner, so I’m sure Nat had all the attention he wanted.

We love these celebrations at Nat’s house. We feel close to all of his housemates. I see them often since I am at the house to pick up or drop off Nat a few times a week for various activities. One housemate refers to the others as “brother”, though he can also tease in an edgy way. Overall, it feels like a real home.

It can be a challenge to find the right living situation for a disabled son. We have had ups and downs over the years. His house now is a good place. The guys feel like family, the staff feel like friends. Going there almost always feels like a happy time.

Happy birthday Nat!