My name is Ned (actually, officially, it is Edward, but no one but cold-calling sleazeball telemarketers call me Ed or Eddie: it's a dead give-away).

Now, thanks to the Acronym Finder, we can find out what NED really means. My personal favorites are No Evidence of Disease and Noble Engineering and Development, although for sheer geek points, the NASA Extragalactic Database can't be beat (plus the home page includes the text, "If your research benefits from the use of NED, ..." Maybe I can use that in a resume?).